Comfort is the best of the zones

So why are you telling me to get out of mine?

Time zones.

Climate zones.

School zones.

Loading zones.

Yep, COMFORT ZONES are the best of all the zones.

(End zones are good, but who wants to hang around in them?)

Comfort zones are the most cushy, warm and safe of all the zones, so why do people who care about us give us pep talks telling us to STEP OUT of ours?

Don’t ask me. I long ago pledged to never write or give a pep talk with the words “get out of your comfort zone.” Maybe that’s because it’s become so cliché, but also because COMFORT and ZONES don’t work that way.

“Zones aren't born, they’re made,” is something I might say if I was ever to write about comfort zones. A lot goes into creating a trusted, familiar cocoon of places, people and activities – seemingly free from anxiety. We should take pride in the ones we’ve created.

I’m proud of my pillow fort of limits; I’ll paint with acrylics rather than oils, I’ll ski only on the bunny slopes, and I’ll talk to strangers on planes only if they look incapable of stalking, murdering or boring me.

The trick is NOT to LEAVE all that soft, warm, satisfying safe space, but to add onto it – to expand, append, annex it, small parcels at a time.

The very cool stARTist, Britt Frank, LSCSW, SEP, author of The Science of Stuck, puts it this way: ”Our brains are not designed for adventure and novelty. They’re designed for autopilot – to conserve energy, to keep us alive, and to wash, rinse repeat. The idea of “leaving the comfort zone” can send the human brain into a state of fight, flight, or freeze — perpetuating the cycles we so desperately want to break. Gently and safely "expanding, appending, or annexing" our comfort zones allows us to move into new things – without accidentally setting our brains on fire.”

So, Dr. Unstuck, HOW do we DO this?

“Take the thing you really want to try, and break it into easy, tiny steps, what I call “micro-yesses.” Often, it takes less time to DO IT than to argue with yourself about doing it,” says Britt.

I agree. Fast action and small steps! That’s the way to add valuable, diverse real estate to our comfort zones.

If I were to talk or write about getting in or out of comfort zones, which as I have made clear, I will never do, I’d urge people to create comfort zones that look like the result of an unfettered gerrymandering spree (oh wow, Baton Rouge), or a kooky suburban annexing free-for-all (looking at you Overland Park, Kansas.)

Baton Rouge, LA, Congressional Districts

Overland Park, KS…a comfy suburb of Kansas City

The metaphor ends here, because unlike these examples, expanding our creative comfort zones is 100% fair, fabulous, and constitutional.

Creative bliss is all about being IN THE ZONE, so let’s improve our odds of bliss by making zone bigger! And also maybe shaped like a DUNE escape vehicle.

You’re in charge of the mapping department; stretch the borders! Redraw the boundaries so that your amazingness can seep out into colorful neighborhoods. Parcel by parcel, take over the world…or at least spice up a boring weekend or stuck career.

If I were gently suggesting how someone might turn their beige, quadrant-shaped comfort zone into a messy mapfest like this one, I would probably suggest THREE THINGS.

• Try new things.

Tiny or bold.

• Get better at your favorite things.

Take a class, watch a tutorial, put in more practice time.

• Find your people, and push one another.

Writers, form a writers group to urge one another to submit for publication. Makers, start a collaboration or a support fest. Entrepreneurs, build mentoring circles. You get the idea.

The most joyful, successful stARTists are people who take their pillows with them…out into the world. They use what they learn from starting one thing to get comfortable trying another. Eventually, the fulfillment they get makes new experiences feel like a pile of warm blankets.

P.S. Do you know what had me thinking today about comfort zones and how I’ll never write about them? I just set the date for the next Ladies Laugh Lounge! It’s a comedy show here in my hometown of Kansas City. At every show, three or four women expand their comfort zones by making their first appearance on a comedy stage. (One of them was Britt Frank!) I wrote earlier about THE IMPORTANCE OF LAUGHTER, in case you missed it.

If you’re in Kansas City April 24 and 25th, come to the show!

If you’re NOT in Kansas City and want to try telling jokes in public, most every U.S. city has a comedy club with an open mic night. If that’s not comfy, try telling jokes to your bookclub, or sitting in the front row of a comedy show.

I’m kidding. NEVER sit in the front row of a comedy show.