How to be a bully buster
Sing at them. They hate that.
Any thought, thing or person who keeps us from living our best lives is a bonafide bully.
Any person (including you) who tells you that you’re dreaming too big, you’re starting too much, or that building that sparkly felt-lined bird condominium is a waste of a Saturday does NOT deserve your lunch money.
Call bullies out when you see them. Stand your ground. Better yet, chase them down and sing at them. They hate that.
That’s what I learned from Caley Rose.
She’s a Billboard charting singer, songwriter, and entrepreneur who now uses her talents to make sure the bullies lose and positivity wins - all through the power of affirming messages and the neuroscience of singing.
Caley stARTed Music With a Message to take her powerful original music and pep talks into elementary schools. Her magical superpower helps bullies not stay bullies, while helping kids who are minding their own business not become victims.
She’s a stARTist worth spotlighting.
Becky: You started your music career late, by some standards. How did you finally make that decision?
Caley: I wanted to be a professional singer my whole life, but my path took a ton of twists and turns. I was trained in opera and classical music. I thought I wanted to be on Broadway, but I never even knew pop music was on the table. Once I got clear about what I REALLY wanted to do with my ONE LIFE, pop music was it!
How I became a songwriter is a whole different story that began with leaping off a cliff in New Zealand...another interview for that one.
Becky: Being bullied is a sad part of your childhood story. What inspired you to start Music With A Message?
Caley: It was definitely a STARTist project!
The idea must have been percolating for a long time as I did my own affirming self talk to break from the cruel messages I got as a kid.
One day it hit me, as I was noticing that young women were gravitating toward my empowering songs; I didn’t want others to go through the experience of bullying alone.
I decided to start before I was ready – and take action before the fear voices and imposter syndrome could get in my way.
THAT’S the to time to strike – when the iron is hot and when we’re most excited about something!
I started taking my music and sharing my story in schools to help kids learn how to raise their self-confidence through music.
As I spoke and sang in more and more schools, Music with a Message began to take form. I firmly believe that when you’re on the right path, life hands you opportunities and serendipities to support what you’re creating. That’s exactly what happened.
Becky: I LOVE LOVE LOVE your songs. (I listen to your song Fireproof when I do scary things like go to the DMV without my tax receipt.) How do you start a song?
Caley: My favorite way to write a song is with a title in mind, because when I think of a title I connect to, it becomes clear to me that this is a title I'll release someday. Then I have a concrete goal to work toward as I craft the lyrics. Sometimes I write solo, sometimes I bring in collaborators to co-write. Then I bring in melody before production, mixing, and mastering.
Every song evolves differently. STAND UP, which I perform in schools, was started with two songwriter friends. We wanted to write an empowering song that didn’t sound cheesy or didactic. I didn’t initially intend to sing it myself, and we hired two different singers for it before I was brave enough to say that I wanted to be the singer! I’m SO glad I did, because this song means so much to me. Seeing audiences of students AND adults sing “STAND UP!” with me is my favorite part of every live show I do!
One tip I have with creativity in whatever form it takes: we need to "turn on the faucet" to let the ideas come out. Like you say, Becky, just START! Whether that means picking up the pen, sitting down at the keyboard, or picking up the paintbrush. You need to start in order for the ideas to come. Inspiration strikes when you stART!
Becky: You’re singing my song!
You start so many things – songs, shows and adorable TikTok posts, plus a voice over business. What gets finished and what doesn’t?
Caley: I’ve started wayyyyy more songs than I’ll ever finish, but the songs that are meant to always find a way to reach completion. They keep knocking on the walls of my mind.
The children’s book I’m shopping to agents now is another example of an idea that just wouldn’t stop knocking. Eventually I had to listen, even though I’d never written a children’s book before.
Becky: Wow, looks like you’ve overcome any fear of facing the blank PAGE. Tell us about your courage in facing the BLANK STAGE.
Caley: I LOVE performing, but my perfectionism gives me pre-show anxiety. I combat it by remembering my friend Jen Gottlieb’s advice: “help one person every day,” (H.O.P.E.) That redirects my focus to just reaching one person with my music that day.
Becky: You're a stARTist married to a stARTist. What does that look like?
Caley: My husband, Karl, is a UX designer for Sony, so two creative professionals working from home with a toddler and a cockapoo — with one of us flying off for live music shows — means a lot of juggling and communication! We both aim to support each other in our passions, so we help each other out a ton.
Becky: Working “from home” you say? When we met, you were in Kansas City renovating an Airstream trailer to take your show on the road. How is that going?
Caley: Boy, did we have some starts and restarts on that one. But we did it!
We’ve lived in our Airstream (named The Shiny Twinkie!) for 3 months now! So far, we’ve taken my music and Music with a Message from Kansas City to Charlotte, Charleston, Savannah, Atlanta, Tulsa, Santa Fe, Joshua Tree, SF, Malibu, and San Diego – in such a short time! The concerns we had over a family of three plus pup hasn’t been an issue at all! We had downsized when we moved from LA to KC and we actually loved getting rid of stuff! The only annoyance is packing up our home and moving it. Moving day is not our fave, but seeing beautiful new places around the country makes everything worth it!
Becky: I heard a fun rumor that you’re starting the most special START of all.
Caley: Yes! We have a baby boy on the way! Visiting so many cities and states is helping us decide where we want to put down roots when he arrives in September.
Becky: What would you say to encourage someone who is having trouble pulling the trigger on their idea?
Caley: Don't let perfectionism get in your way!
NO ONE is perfect when they first start. Even the people you look up to aren’t flawless. They fail! Actually, they’ve failed MORE than you, which is why they got to where they are. We humans learn from mistakes. It's scientifically proven that that's the best way for us to learn.
Finish these thoughts…
The best way to kill an idea is to: let your inner critic into the process too soon.
The best time to start something is: as soon as the inspiration strikes. If you can, drop everything, make time for it, and ACT.
Once I start, the worst that can happen is: My toddler interrupts me.
The best thing I ever started that I didn't finish is: Songs #9999999 to #99999999.
My startist crush is: Sara Bareilles. The craft in her songwriting is unparalleled in my mind. I admire her stARTistic bravado, especially the fact that she took on the challenge of writing an ENTIRE Broadway show, and a beautifully written one at that!
If I had never started songwriting, I would never have: found myself as a singer. I used to think that since I’d studied singing, I should trust those who had studied songwriting to do the songwriting. Giving away my songwriting power led to a lot of songs that I didn’t feel connected to. I empowered myself by getting an education in songwriting, and the path became illuminated – with serendipities, scholarships, and the right people along the way.
Writing my own songs has empowered my singing voice like nothing else could.
Your pick, Caley:
Air guitar or air drums? I have students do air drums during my song “Fireproof” in schools, and it makes it so fun! Air drums!!
Share food or no sharing? Sharing! I love trying everything this life has to offer, so sharing gives me more options and fun!
Mild or spicy? Medium
PDA: Yes or no? YES!
Toe-test the water or dive into the deep end? Cannonball.
P.S. I met Caley when she was recommended as the pre-show act for the Ladies Laugh Lounge, a comedy show I started while writing Start More Than You Can Finish. She was a huge hit, and her original song Who’s That Girl? is the track for this promo video. Caley’s off in her Airstream, but if you’re in Kansas City, come laugh with me and ten hilarious bully-busting women! SOUND UP!
Learn more about LADIES LAUGH LOUNGE HERE.
Learn more HERE about bringing Music with a Message to your school or event.
Follow Caley:
Access Caley’s FREE GUIDE How to Get into Voice Over